Asparamancer predicts sporting joy but cost-of-living turmoil to continue in 2023 - The Evesham Observer

Asparamancer predicts sporting joy but cost-of-living turmoil to continue in 2023

Evesham Editorial 1st Jan, 2023   0

THE CORONATION of King Charles III will be a ‘joyous occasion’ and a ‘bright spot in a dark time, according to Worcestershire’s world famous Asparamancer.

Jemima Packington has once again thrown the asparagus into the air to determine what the future holds in store for the world in 2023.

Using only Vale of Evesham asparagus for the job, her previous predictions have been uncannily and accurately borne out over the past decades.

According to the famous Gras there will be more sporting success for the Lionesses who will bring the Women’s World Cup home to go alongside their European Championship honours, leading to a honorary Damehood for coach Sarina Wiegman.




Further unexpected deaths among showbiz personalities, not all age-related, will be confirmed while Ms Packington also revealed Hollywood A Listers will come out as gay.

The ongoing financial struggles in rugby union which has already claimed Worcester Warriors and Wasps will continue according to the Asparamancer who suggests a return to semi-professional status may be considered.


Jemima Packington’s 2023 Predictions in full:

1. The Lionesses will bring the Women’s World Cup home, and Sarina Wiegman will be awarded an honorary Damehood.

2. Gareth Southgate will receive an award in His Majesty’s New Years Honours.

3. The Government will hang on but will be under ever increasing pressure to grip the economy.Further devaluation of the pound will not be acceptable.

4. People will become savvier with food shortages on the horizon. Rationing may be considered.0

5. Following on from this people will return to growing their own foods. Gardens will be dug over and allotments will be even more popular.0

6. Agricultural labour will soar amongst the unemployed.

7. The Winter of Discontent amongst Unions will try the public’s patience and sympathy.It will cause unrest between the haves and have nots.

8. More Royal births will be announced.

9. The Kings Coronation will be a joyous occasion for all those participating. A bright spot in a dark time.

10. Turmoil in the Far East as result of super plague Covid. Tensions between countries will be highlighted.

11. There will be a removal of royal titles.

12. The Princess Royal will have a health scare which will show the public just what a hard working and dedicated member of the Royal Family she is and not to be taken for granted.

13. Concerns over Climate Changes will be to the forefront once more.

14. There will be unexpected deaths amongst showbiz personalities. Not all age related.

15. Certain high profile political public figures – not MPs – will be revealed as corrupt.

16. More Hollywood A listers will come out as gay. This will be quite shocking to the public in general – “Who knew”!

17. Chelsea FC will go from strength to strength.

18. RUFC clubs will continue to struggle with more going into receivership. A possible return to player status being “semi Pro” may have to be considered by some.

19. Educational reforms will again be at the forefront especially with University students who are not receiving the support they’re due.

20. UK will not return to the EU.

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