13th Jul, 2020

Asparamancer makes her predictions for the year ahead

Joshua Godfrey 5th Jan, 2017 Updated: 5th Jan, 2017

THE WORLD famous Asparamancer has made her predictions for 2017 using the recently EU protected Vale of Evesham Asparagus.

Instead of using the green vegetable to cook with, Jemima Packington uses the Vale’s famous produce to predict the future and major events set to happen over the next 12 months.

And with a 95 per cent success rate, the fortune teller is pretty confident her prediction will come true.

If that’s the case we can expect to see the Asparamancer’s 12 predictions become a reality this year, which includes troubling times for the Royal Family and downpours and flood risks to hit the UK this summer.

The Asparamancer’s predictions in full are:

1. The USA will be seen as a pariah under the presidency of Donald Trump.

2. Brexit will go ahead despite the efforts of those wishing to derail its progress.

3. UK economy will thrive.

4. Other EU countries will follow UK’s example and apply to withdraw from EU.

5. Troubling times for the Royal Family.

6. The UK Summer weather will go from drought to downpours and flood risks will increase causing misery to thousands.

7. Many more sporting scandal stories will emerge. Very high profile figures will fall from grace and the nation will be shocked when they discover who these are.

8. The political atmosphere of certain EU countries will change with the deposing of several prominent leaders.

9. The divorce will be announced of a pair of “National Treasures” within the world of showbusiness.

10. Political turmoil within UK opposition parties will rumble on and on.

11. A major review of the UK’s educational system will be undertaken.

12. Evesham Asparagus will undergo resurgence in popularity with the granting of ‘protected status’ to Vale Gras.

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