AS THE CLOCK has now struck 12pm, we can reveal (as if you did not already know) that our story about campaigners calling for the abolition of the terms ‘spears’ and Vale Gras’ was complete fabrication in true April Fools Day tradition.
Thanks to all of you who read the piece, shared and commented on social media and generally joined in with the fun.
We’ll be back again this time next year in a bid to trick you again but, in case you missed it, the story is below.
‘SPEARS FEARS’ – Campaign group wants changes made to Evesham asparagus
FANS of Evesham’s world famous asparagus have hit out at plans to ban popular terms relating to the area’s much sought-after veg.
It has been suggested that both referring to asparagus as ‘spears’ and ‘Vale Gras’ should not be used.
Campaign group Seeking Peace in the English Language (SPIEL) claims asparagus should not be referred to as ‘spears’ as it ‘promotes weapon use’. Instead, it wants people to call them ‘sticks of asparagus’.
And the same group also suggests the term ‘Gras’ should also not be used as it has ‘cannabis connotations’. Marijuana is sometimes referred to as ‘grass’, along with ‘weed’, ‘pot’ and other terms.
A SPIEL spokesperson said: “Of course we want everyone to enjoy Evesham’s wonderful asparagus – we, like everybody, think it is fantastic and would urge everyone to indulge in it and support the local economy.
“But, at the same time, we feel referring to asparagus as ‘spears’ is outdated and has the potential to cause harm. What we are asking for is only a minor change and we hope people will join us in calling them ‘sticks of asparagus’.
“We have thought long and hard about this but felt we should get our feelings known before this year’s season starts on St George’s Day on April 23.
“We did consider calling them ‘shoots of asparagus’ but we felt that was even worse as it conjures up images of guns and firearms. Sticks, we feel, is the best term.
“With regard to our request about ‘Gras’, we feel cannabis is already being too openly smoked in public – in some areas, you would struggle to go a day without being subjected to that foul pungent stink.
“We would hate to think Evesham asparagus – when it is called ‘Gras’ – is subconsciously contributing to promoting this awful illegal substance. So we would like to see that phrase faded out.”
‘Absolute joke’, say residents
In response, Vale resident, Fai O’Proll, told the Observer: “Asparagus has been referred to as ‘spears’ since time began and I don’t see why we should change now. They look like spears so I don’t see a problem with them being referred to as such.
“This is the most foolish thing I have ever heard – it’s an absolute joke.”
Another, Joe Kerr, added: “To say it would promote weapon use is ridiculous – spears have not been used as weapons in the UK for several hundreds of years. Maybe they are still used in some far-flung places, but certainly not in the UK and definitely not here in Evesham.
“Arguably, you could do as much damage to someone by hitting them with ‘a stick’.
“And as for banning ‘Gras’ – I think this group must have been smoking something to come up with these crazy and misguided ideologies.
“What about the Queen’s Club and Wimbledon tennis tournaments? They are known as ‘the pinnacle of the grass court season’. Are we going to have to refer to that as the ‘green court season’?
“This group is out of its mind.”
The campaign group told the Observer it wanted to make sure people understood its concerns and took them seriously, especially with the start of the Evesham asparagus season just 22 days away.
It is due to make a statement about its next steps at midday today (Tuesday).
* WHAT do you think? Do you agree the terms ‘spears’ and ‘Vale Gras’ should be confined to history? Email us to: [email protected] with your views.
